I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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