So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
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I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
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FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize