Is it because I queefed?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize