You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
