I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Oh god it's open bar.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
