i think my mom watched the whole time
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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