ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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