You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
