Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.

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(301): He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex. http://tfl.nu/9ztc

Replies (17) Good night (822) Bad night (2715)
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(519): View more from Ontario

dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way

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(519): dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way http://tfl.nu/6t17

Replies (17) Good night (1269) Bad night (3762)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.

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(321): Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class. http://tfl.nu/1es6

Replies (7) Good night (3957) Bad night (798)
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(937): View more from Ohio

you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters

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(937): you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters http://tfl.nu/ru5h

Replies (9) Good night (3485) Bad night (986)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!

(860): View more from Connecticut

I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo

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(860): MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!! (860): I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo http://tfl.nu/vjys

Replies (14) Good night (8519) Bad night (1070)
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(712): View more from Iowa

I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night

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(712): I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night http://tfl.nu/e3vx

Replies (3) Good night (640) Bad night (1127)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark

(1-678): View more from Georgia

...

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(678): Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark (1-678): ... http://tfl.nu/supo

Replies (8) Good night (1508) Bad night (731)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.

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(215): so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/j7g1

Replies (12) Good night (1454) Bad night (482)
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(571): View more from Virginia

My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.

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(571): My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have. http://tfl.nu/0vrk

Replies (3) Good night (1114) Bad night (575)
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(907): View more from Alaska

his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord

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(907): his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord http://tfl.nu/yjwk

Replies (6) Good night (1339) Bad night (649)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

Did you sleep with him again?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?

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(978): The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me. (1-978): Did you sleep with him again? (978): No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me? http://tfl.nu/swvn

Replies (5) Good night (467) Bad night (999)
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(916): View more from California

I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.

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(916): I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today. http://tfl.nu/ycdx

Replies (4) Good night (584) Bad night (1179)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.

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(317): Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced. http://tfl.nu/5tm9

Replies (5) Good night (430) Bad night (953)
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(265): View more from

I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.

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(265): I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit. http://tfl.nu/kzhy

Replies (1) Good night (451) Bad night (233)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk

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(304): I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk http://tfl.nu/ufvz

Replies (0) Good night (287) Bad night (180)

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