Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.

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  (608): Im mastering the way to pass gas silently. http://tfl.nu/n26o
  Replies (24) Good night (3038) Bad night (879)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park

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  (917): It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park http://tfl.nu/yu5j
  Replies (29) Good night (879) Bad night (3121)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.

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  (205): Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage. http://tfl.nu/pzck
  Replies (4) Good night (777) Bad night (2875)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know

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  (501): She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know http://tfl.nu/vx6i
  Replies (15) Good night (3526) Bad night (723)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.

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  (972): Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip. http://tfl.nu/klsb
  Replies (50) Good night (711) Bad night (6975)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.

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  (267): I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible. http://tfl.nu/ayl9
  Replies (9) Good night (2044) Bad night (925)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.

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  (506): They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them. http://tfl.nu/xyk5
  Replies (8) Good night (3013) Bad night (623)
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  (619): View more from California

  The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.

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  (619): The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer. http://tfl.nu/kgnu
  Replies (24) Good night (2030) Bad night (717)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...

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  (412): You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex... http://tfl.nu/wlmu
  Replies (12) Good night (2983) Bad night (698)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.

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  (561): Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way. http://tfl.nu/yi36
  Replies (5) Good night (908) Bad night (486)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night

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  (517): I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night http://tfl.nu/097x
  Replies (2) Good night (686) Bad night (568)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA

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  (931): I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA http://tfl.nu/jla7
  Replies (2) Good night (992) Bad night (423)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.

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  (412): By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me. http://tfl.nu/u2xy
  Replies (7) Good night (772) Bad night (434)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.

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  (724): body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe. http://tfl.nu/fyq3
  Replies (2) Good night (606) Bad night (324)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.

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  (214): So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot. http://tfl.nu/cnna
  Replies (1) Good night (307) Bad night (607)

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