Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
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He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Found the puke drawer
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.