Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon