Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.