theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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