brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We smell like vodka and hangover
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