I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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