can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
