he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
