I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
