i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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