he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
