You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
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Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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