dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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