I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
