Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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