i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Is it because I queefed?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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