the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
