He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
