just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
