I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize