ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
