idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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