okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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