Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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