ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just tell him i said nine months
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
