I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
