you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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