I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
