just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
do herpes really smell.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So gin and wine won't be happening again
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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