Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
