I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
