After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
they're like a gay fantastic four
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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