mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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