Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
