Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
