so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
