Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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