I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we made out on top of his cat.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
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When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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