somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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