I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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