i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
