So drunk its hurt
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
