Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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