That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
