Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
