It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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