so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
