My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
