similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
When are your genitals available?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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