dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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