I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize