Screwed.edu
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
no, he came in my armpit
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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