Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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