Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
