I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Screwed.edu
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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