Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
